| 摘要: | 這是一篇記述著死亡與道別的自我敘說研究。本研究訂出的幾個目標為：忠實的呈現故事、對死亡有新的理解，以及產生新的自我等。在論文的第一、二章裡，我以遭遇朋友自殺的經驗為出發，提出了自己對死亡與生命的困惑，與想要說故事的心情。在故事呈現的部分，我採用的是自由書寫時自然產生的時序，同時也盡可能的保留了文本中各種主題交錯出現的特性，呈現的是較原始的歷程變化。
論文的第三、四章，是故事的文本部分，我的角色從一位研究者變成了敘說者與探究者。第三章談的是我在喪友前後的心境變化，以及事件帶給我的認知衝擊，第四章則有較多對生命的感受與體會。寫作過程中，我的書寫重心逐漸由從特定的、朋友死亡事件，轉向普遍的、每個人都必須面對的死亡，然後在死亡的對照之下，回到了現有的生活，重新看見自己的「餘生」。
論文的第五章，我讓自己成為了一位讀者，與身為敘說者的自己進行對話，檢視了自己的書寫風格、研究目標的達成度、額外的收穫以及書寫歷程。第六章是一個暫時性的結論，呈現了我對這份研究的部分的反思。第七章是在論文口試後新增的章節，補充了在口試現場的進一步反思，包括對生死的新觀點、自我概念變化、寫作動機與專業態度的調整，另外也加入了讀者回應。
This thesis is based on personal narrative. The aims of this research include: telling the story honestly, finding new points toward death, and generating a “new me”. In the first two chapters of this thesis, I shared a personal experience and reflections on the suicide of a friend, and the motivations of this research. In order to keep the content and the writing process intact, the original free-writing style are preserved on purpose.
In the third and fourth chapter, I became a storyteller and explorer. The story began with the event of the friend’s death, then shifted to the concerns of my own death. At last, the story ended with the thoughts toward the rest of my life.
In the fifth chapter, I became a reader. By checking up the style, aims, gains and the writing process of the narrative, I came to a temporary conclusion in chapter 6. However, the conclusion is immature. After the oral presentation, chapter 7 was added as a further reflection, including the new point of view about life and death, the changing of self-concept, writing motivations, professional attitude and reader feedback. |
