這是一個優秀的孩子遭遇敗經驗後藉由自我敘說重新看見自己的歷程。故事從進入一個主觀認定非理想的學校開始，談及對周遭生活與學習的不適應與不滿意、經驗到挫敗與自我否定之複雜情緒，難以面對對照過去優秀表現所呈現出的落差，進而困住自己。 文中從過去成長與家庭經驗談起，透過自我敘說與重新理解的過程，看見那個長久以來束縛自己的價值信念，並試圖從中探尋自己。藉由看見自己、釐清自己與父母間的關係，自己與家人的關係便獲得重新調整的機會，也從中看見了父母對自己的允許以及他們用自己的方式所展現出的支持，進而能逐漸發展出對自我的允許。 最後，重新理解經驗挫敗後的種種，源自自我內在所展現出的一種「反動」，藉由這股反動始能有重新看見、接觸、陪伴自己的機會，用自己的腳步慢慢走到適合自己的位置、長出自己的樣子，不再受困於挫敗經驗與束縛底下。 This is a story about an excellent child finding herself from the failure by self narrative. The story start from a non-ideal school which I can’t adapt the studying and school life. I was discouraged by the failure and feeling self-denial. I can’t face the gap between the excellent and non-ideal performance and was trapped in it. It start from my growing and family experience. I see the fetters by self narrative and re-understanding. I attempt finding myself and my family relationship start changing by clarifying myself and the relationship. I can feel the support and allowing from my parents so that I can allow myself. Finally I understand that what I feeling after the failure is a reactionary of self inner world. I have a chance to see ,touch and stay with myself through the reactionary. I walk on my way to the right place and grow into it. So that I won’t suffer from the failure and fetters.
